BREAKTHROUGH. That's it. That is the best way I can describe last week's class and the theme for this entry.
The most profound thing is that this was not a week with a mindblowing script or a performance of a lifetime from myself. At first glance, the nuance between the lines called for a subtle yet powerful performance. The pivotal moment was after a take when a conversation between me and Ani opened up everything.
While I did an adequate job of performing the scene for the first time, Ani knew there was much more that I could give. She was right, of course. However, it was a challenging task. Before I began the next take, I took a moment and thought about everything we'd been taught so far. Was I being honest in my performance? Was I holding back for any reason? When I felt like I had something, I began again.
Ani loved this take. Initially, I was not all that confident I had done anything to warrant such praise compared to my first attempt. Then Ani asked which take I liked more and why. Right there, the moment she asked me that question was when the breakthrough occurred. When I thought about which take I liked better, it was the second one. Not because Ani gave it audible approval but because I did something that limited me in acting and my personal life. I took off the ceiling I subconsciously placed on myself.
Whenever a scene or a moment in my life called for strong emotion or to get loud, there was a certain level I could not attain. I have never been comfortable raising my voice or commanding a room, but at that moment, I did both. During that performance, I was just as hurt as the character I was playing. I was honest with the direction I chose and meant every word I said.
Each word left my mouth with more passion than the last. It may sound far-fetched, but Ani truly was able to pull a better performance out from within me. I'm still not sure what it is she is able to see in me and the others, but it does light a fire under you for the next take.
In lieu of everything I thought about acting classes before I joined the studio, it is almost comical that on such an inauspicious day, my best performance was born. Everything I wanted and needed out of this journey was going to be born from this moment. I was sure of it. For the next few days, you would've sworn there was a different aura glowing around me.
If you are someone like me, who chooses to be more reserved, acting could be a missing piece in your life. You don't need to make this your career, but the freedom that comes with the